Just thinking out loud

Why can't anyone ever say what they mean? I really wish people would just do that. But at the same time, I tend to complicate things moreso than they need to be.
I'm a writer. I write the truth, but there are still so many examples of my writings where I have concealed what I wrote and what I meant. Where I put hidden meanings and clues, but nothing where I came out and said what I meant. Is that even truth?
Sometimes I get so bogged down in meanings I forget the message.
And then, sometimes when I'm writing, I get in this funky mood(without drugs, i swear) where I can see so clearly, and write so well, and other times I can't get past the blank page/screen.
I love to write, and I wouldn't trade that gift for the world. But when words come to me, there's a responsibility that comes with it- i feel complelled to write down voices and combinations of words I hear in my head. I feel complelled to write on this blog every day at least twice.
I don't even know how many people are going to read this, but I feel like I need it out there.
I've even related personal writing(ans songwriting) to baring your soul- the ultimate act of intimacy, and not meant to share with the world. It's something so deep inside you, and for that reason, I will not publish all my poems on here. Some are meant only for me. Some are never meant to be read by any others. Others are meant for a select few.
But i've often said writing is my soul and drawing is my pastime.
i g2g, ttly
~mAnDi J